🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?